This weekend brings the first-ever Cancer Survivor and Caregiver ceremony to Gig Harbor as a part of the 2018 Gig Harbor Paddlers Cup Regatta. It’s a celebration to honor all cancer survivors and recognize the family caregivers who walk beside them. In the year since Jeff has died, I have jumped headfirst into the community-building […]
coping
The Roles We Play.
Tonight is the night before our 13th wedding anniversary. 15 years together as the ‘home team’. Just days ago was Jeff’s birthday, another first I’ve experienced since he’s been gone. I am no longer a wife and partner. No longer am I a cancer caregiver. As I reflect on our marriage and the cancer experience…
Triggers and 3 Ways to Get Through Them
They shoot us into the past. They beg us to play the ‘what if’ and ‘if only’ game. They land us on unsteady ground. Triggers.
The Caregiver’s Credo
I’m often asked: “Jen, how did you do it?” I reply: “What do you mean?” They say: “How did you do it, you know, caregiving?”
Honoring Jeff
It has taken some time to figure out what feels right in acknowledging and honoring Jeff’s life on this blog. He’s been gone just over 2 months. We created Secondhand Cancer while visiting one of our favorite spots in WA – the San Juan Islands. We broke away in between chemotherapy cycles to get a bit […]
Bend or Break
Last two weeks have been tough. We didn’t get good news from the latest scan results. Add to that, an unanticipated surgery to resolve new vascular issues and painful lymphedema in the leg – a gift from radiation we cannot return. Whether it’s side effects from treatment, abnormal blood work – whatever – there’s always something […]
Advocacy Series: #5 – Adjust As Needed
In my professional life, I lean on a strategy I call “test, measure and adjust”. What I like about it is that it encourages experimentation, it creates space to identify what’s working and not working, and it invites creative alternatives. The more I’m exposed to caregiving, the more I believe “test, measure and adjust” is a […]
Advocacy Series: #4 – Get Organized
Create a system that works for you where medical information is easily and quickly accessible. To every appointment or test, I carry a shoulder bag that includes: 1) a list of active medications, 2) a list of the latest scan and test dates, 3) summaries of the test results, and 4) if relevant, MRI or […]
Advocacy Series: #3 – Respect Your Power
You know your body. You know your loved one’s body. You know their medical history, how they respond to treatments, how they feel about a procedure, and what it means when they say ‘quality of life’. You and your loved one want a doctor and medical team who is open to exploring ideas and opinions […]
Advocacy Series: #2 – Do Your Research
#2. Do Your Research. Bring your own ideas and the ideas of your loved one to the medical team – and find the right team member willing to explore them with you. Ask for the clinical studies and research reports and have your oncologist explain them to you. Meet with the radiation oncologist, the medical […]